Just say "I don't know" if you don't. (Part 3 of 4)

This is part three of a four part series that chronicles three major tenets of my personal (non-academic) experience. The primary three new mantras are, “Do it, for you, because you want to,” say “I don’t know” when you really don’t and finally "don't assume anything," because I’ve learned that assuming anything about anyone or any topic is probably the number one error that many students, myself included, can make.

This entry clarifies the second tenet....saying “I don’t know” when you don’t.

Why is it so hard to just say, “I don’t know” when people ask you what you want to do in the future? It’s the question of questions that make us really want to crawl and hide when we’re not sure. I actually had a conducting professor back at the university that required us to delete this phrase from our vocabulary. We couldn’t say, “I don’t know,” we had to say that “we weren’t sure.” Whatever. The point is, “I don’t know.”

However, we do know what we like. We know our dislikes. We still have dreams, but it seems they sometimes get lost between guidance counselors’ warnings, declaring a major and reading about salary outlooks and demand rates for various professional fields. Should I consider my standard of living when I’m contemplating further education? Do I think about my marketability first when I select a field, etc.? Well, my advice is this. Understand that you and your interests matter. You have to get up in the morning and go to work. You may rock out some Gabana’s, but if you honestly “hate” your job, are you taking advantage of the time you have? There’s not much of it, so hopefully you’ll find a way to for your dreams and your livelihood fit to coexist in your career scheme.

You’re doing it. You’ve got interests. Your true interests matter despite the odds. Go for it whatever it may be. And if you still don't know what "it" is, keep reflecting, soul-searching and adjusting your direction as you go along.

"Do it for you, because you want to." (Part 2 of 4)

This is part two of a four part series that chronicles three major tenets of my personal (non-academic) experience. First, “Do it, for you, because you want to.” The second--I’ve learned it’s best to say, “I don’t know,” when referring to my future if I really don't. Finally, I’ve learned that assuming anything is probably the number one error that students can make. So the last is, “Don’t assume anything.”

This entry clarifies the first tenet. “Do it, for you, because you want to.”

It was my initiative that got me to DC in the first place. I wanted to come here, and although I kept going back and forth about my purpose in doing so, I kept making headway to get here and now that I've been here, I have honestly enjoyed the experience. No, this program doesn't fit directly within my undergraduate degree program. I’m a clarinet performance major, but I know that in the future I have an interest in arts organization management. The National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) is definitely the nation’s most generous arts granter and the educational resources at the agency are unlimited. I met directors of the various disciplines and sat in on meetings and panels pertaining to specific grant awards (even before the general public knew about them).

The internship with the NEA indirectly put me in touch with several other opportunities, from potential employment to what I’m considering for this summer. I made a contact with an NEA employee for this summer’s internship program with the Arts and Business Council of New York where I’ll be working with the National Public Radio affiliate WNYC in cultural development and event planning. This internship with the Council’s Emerging Arts Leaders program will have direct correlations with what I want to do. While at NEA I was able to see grant proposals and develop a perspective on what is considered progressive arts programming, etc. Not to mention that I had prime access to the Nancy Hanks Lecture on Arts Advocacy at the Kennedy Center, and I’ll actually be involved as a planning volunteer for the Philadelphia conference hosted by the Americans for the Arts this June.

You can never underestimate your own personal interests for what others tell you what you should or need to do. I found myself attending lectures hosted by Idealist.org, Center for American Progress Action Fund, and opened myself up to new things as well that I may not have been encouraged to attend. To others, I “should” be doing thing x or seeing event z, but because I’ve followed my own preferences and listened to what I, Kofi Martin, wanted to do, I began embarking on independence. Independence is not granted with just the degree (especially when even that is mostly exploratory), nor is it even the first career-oriented job. Independence has to be a state of mind.

Honestly, the tendency you’ll want to combat is to lie to yourself. Just stop it, it’s that easy.

Overall experience (Part 1 of 4)

The experience in DC could have been mimicked anywhere else. TWC creates interesting courses, the program is organized and the opportunities to see the nation’s capital city were great additives. However, this was only part of the appeal. The only factor that resulted in making this experience special for me was my own initiative. I remember the first day, during the intern orientation. We were told that we should definitely only use our apartments for, well, sleeping.

I couldn’t agree more.

For me, this experience provided me a sense of mental silence from the very, very, emotionally loud environment that I, and most other twentysomethings, “hear.” We’re thrown in so many directions. “You should look into this,” and, “Oh, I know the perfect next step for you,” and oddly enough, “So, what are you going to do with that?!” if our majors don’t sound trade or career trajectory oriented. Students need the opportunity to hear themselves. If only this could be silenced so that the unsure, such as myself, can learn to listen to themselves.

I’ve never been completely alone in making any major decisions. This seems to be a recurring theme in my previous blogs, this lack of “adult” experience, but it’s because it’s true. I have always lived on or at least close to campus.

I’ve been protected.

Several of my friends hold outside jobs while in school. Thanks to scholarships, etc., this wasn’t a necessity exactly for me. I wanted this faux independent experience.

In DC, it has been a little different. I’ve had the late nights, late papers, neglected cell phone, Facebook, work and mental fatigue and moments when I just didn’t get time to finish things. I had to decide to either sleep or be sleepy when I needed to work. Working from 9-5:30 with evening classes twice a week, it gets a little tough. I’ve never really experienced challenges when time use was a factor in the challenge if you exclude standardized testing. It has always been the issue of me procrastinating because I’ve had so much time between assignments that I’d rather do something the morning of so that it stays fresh on the mind. During this program, you have to do it now or else it’ll be a week late. It’s these sort of experiences, not to forget to mention the overnighters, that have allowed me a completely new perspective.

I've developed three new primary mantras. First, “Do it, for you, because you want to.” The second--I’ve learned it’s best to say, “I don’t know,” when referring to my future if I really don't. Finally, I’ve learned that assuming anything is probably the number one error that students can make. So the last is, “Don’t assume anything.”

These may sound trivial, but just stick with me. Check out the next entry where I discuss the importance of truly doing what you want to do. Shakespeare had it right, “To thine own self be true.”